When you’ve just fallen deep into the responsibility of new Motherhood you will experience highs and lows that no one could have prepared you for. You will be SO in love and yet SO tired at the same time, add in baby blues, 3rd degree tears, stitches, sore nipples and you’ve got the Newborn stage. Mothers are usually forgotten shortly after they have their babies as the spotlight has turned (and rightfully so) but lets not let that overwhelming cuteness make us forget about the person who is exhausted, healing and trying her best not to lose it when the 4th person overstays their welcome in a day. Mothers are dealt quite a bit in the early stages and I think its important to remember that she needs love too (and more than usual).
Many countries have a grace period or “healing time” for new mothers, where they are told to lay down for many weeks after the birth while a designated “helper” aids in child care. There are no visitors aside from immediate family during this time. This ensures that the mothers receive as much rest as possible after delivering a child and have help with the baby. In areas where this occurs, rates of post birth complications and postpartum depression are statistically much lower. In Canada and the States, new mothers are “thrown to the wolves” so to speak.. after you have a baby you are to get back to business as usual. During this time, Mothers are sometimes forgotten amongst the excitement of a new baby.
So how do you help a new Mother cope with this new life she’s dove straight into? Here are a few ideas:
Give New Mothers Space
Don’t assume its okay to have a regular visit to see the baby in the first few weeks. Give that Mother space.. She is trying to figure out what works best for her and her family, heal from a painful delivery, handle baby blues, and cope with unimaginable sleep deprivation directly after completing the equivalent of running a marathon. She needs rest.. and while you want to get your eyes on that beautiful baby as soon as possible.. it can wait, the baby is not going anywhere and from my experience they stay newborn and small long enough for everyone to get their teeny tiny baby fix.
Not to mention, as a new mother I became incredibly aware of germs. I had never been a germaphobe before but newborns have developing immune systems and I cannot count the amount of times I watched someone touch my babies new little face (no.. stop touching the face) without washing their hands before. My little one got sick shortly after being held by a number of people and it was not what I needed in the early stages. It ended up in an ER when my baby had trouble breathing in the middle of the night. So.. be conscious of teeny tiny lungs and hypersensitive Mothers during this time.
Give New Mothers (or Mothers in general) a Grace Period
Motherhood has been the best thing to have ever happened to me.. at the same time, Motherhood is hard. For so many reasons it can be overwhelming. At the beginning when your world has been flipped upside down you’re just trying to get your bearings. New Mothers (All Mothers really) will likely forget to call, forget to text back, have to cancel plans, forgot about plans, need some space, not have money to go out, etc. I happen to have amazing best friends, some who don’t have children but are SO gracious and understanding when my world isn’t matching up to our friendship plans. They haven’t left me for being a complete mom-brained spazz, and without them.. I would be very very sad and lonely. As a Mom, you need the friends who won’t abandon you or get angry when Motherhood creeps into the mix. If you are friends with a new Mom, be that friend. It will mean the world to her.
Remember the Mom
She is still there. A very frazzled, dark eyed, foggy brained version of herself, but.. still there. She is a serious warrior..she just pushed a child out of a very small opening and deserves a little recognition for this. Send a text to check in (even if she doesn’t get the chance to respond.. she’ll appreciate it), leave a healthy meal at her door.. and while I am not one to suggest that gifts are necessary.. in times like these, you may make a new Mother feel cared for or thought of when she is draining all of her reserves for that sweet little babe.
I am big into the self care game. I worked in Mental health for years before staying home with my little one, and it is the single most important step to preventing mental discord. That being said, it is the least used tool as most people feel guilty taking time out for themselves. You know who feels the most guilty of self care? Mothers. That is why I am SO in love with the idea of a self care box dedicated to new mothers. Its a great gift idea and a little nudge in the right direction of self care. Not to mention, all of the items in the box are natural and cruelty free!
The boxes come in a variety of sizes and all of them are packaged in a reusable steel lunch box (my favourite part, how cool is that?). I’ll take a steel lunch box over a cardboard box anyday, sustainable and genius!
I was gifted the MARI Gift Set box in exchange for an honest review and feature on my blog, and this box was filled with some old favourites and new to me products.
Inside the Steel Lunch Box came:
Heart Shaped Rose Quartz Stone For anyone wondering what these stones are good for, you can hold one in your palm and roll them around or rub them to calm nerves, anxiety, or stress. Throw it in your purse to have on the go!
Pure Konjac Sponge which are perfect for cleansing your face and gentle exfoliation. They are naturally antibacterial and a great option for anyone who has sensitive skin or is acne prone.
No Tox Life Candle Everyone loves a good candle and this one smells particularly delicious. I have been burning this in my living room daily and I can’t get enough! A little aroma therapy does good for the soul.
Vapour Beauty Lux Organic Lip Conditioner If you’ve read my blog, you know my love for vapour. They are one of the high end green make up lines that has won me over completely. This lip conditioner is so luxe and leaves lips soft and supple. It has been a favourite of mine for a while now and great for the winter months when lips tend to go dry. Not to mention, when new mothers are breastfeeding and tend to go through a lack of hydration for months. This lip balm will be a staple while your body adjusts to nursing.
Bodyceuticals Calendula Body|Face Oil I have been LOVING this oil for its simplicity and skin calming benefits. I am a huge advocate of using oils over lotions, cleansers, etc. I have been using this particularly as an oil cleanser for my face and it has calmed my redness substantially. As I mentioned above, New mothers will likely need more hydration due to breastfeeding and hormonal shifts so adding an oil into your routine is the best option!
Rose Quartz Spray This spray smells like a bed of Roses and is great for setting a calm space. I have used this in my room before bedtime to help soothe the senses and it has been dreamy. The soft blend of roses, mixed with the vibrations of rose quartz is the most gentle and luxurious bouquet. New Mothers can create a sense of calm in their space while they work through their hormones and adjust to life as a Mom.
These boxes are so carefully thought out and selected to keep New mothers in check and feeling loved. I am in full support of helping New Mothers navigate their first steps and these boxes are such a gentle and kind reminder to take care of herself in addition to the baby. If you know a new Mother, consider reminding her that she needs to take time for herself and an It’s MARI gift box may seem like a small gesture but the sentiment behind it will mean the world to her.